What A Pain In My... Ribs!!

• Man.. do I feel super nauseous right now.. maybe it was the soup I ate. Ugh, I really don't know, but I don't like this feeling at all!!
• Two nights ago was the first time I ever felt my son kick my ribs, and WOW it hurt so bad. I was just sitting on my laptop, talking to my cousin on AIM and WAAM! Right in my left, lower rib area. And it didn't stop after just one hit, it kept happening. Now, I am not sure how big he is exactly, but from those hits I would say he is getting pretty big...! I won't forget to mention the fact that I had terrible gas that night too, and I could barely move because of that.. so trying to re-adjust due to the rib attacks was impossible =(
• I really have nothing else to say =) Other than I still feel like I am going to barf.. OH!! I am 25 weeks pregnant today hehehe! Very exciting! I need to call to make an appointment for 3D/4D ultrasounds asap!! Goodnight and God Bless
• I love Emmanuel and my baby boy so very much!!!! Muah*
  

Go to Sleep? Who.. Me?!?

• It is currently 3:27 am and I am wide awake, but I feel so very tired... When I finally get comfortable and feel like I am going to doze off into a heavenly rest, my lil baby boy is sure to let me know that he wants some attention and doesn't approve of me sleeping. So, he slams his legs and fists into my sides to let me know it isn't time for bed yet!! I find it peaceful though, and I can honestly feel his kicks/punches getting a lot stronger than they use to be. It makes me really happy, although I would absolutely love to start falling asleep early so I don't sleep in all day.
• My BH contractions aren't as bad as they were last week; I prayed that they would be weaker because they really started to hurt.. I would get them every day almost all day long. My back seems to hurt a bit more than last month, and my skin burns extremely bad now if I don't put lotion on it. I can see a light layer of dry skin all on my tummy now, most likely from the stretching it is going through. My arms will burn too if I don't put lotion on them; I think that is because I am gaining weight and they are also getting a bit bigger.
• My next visit to my OBGYN, I will be getting tested for gestational diabetes. I was told that I am going to have to drink this glucose solution that tastes horrible, then they can test me. To be honest, I don't want to drink it because it's obviously packed with sugar and I don't want my baby to have to eat that. I don't care if I sound weird worrying about that, I am looking out for my baby!!
• I am looking forward to having the 3D/4D ultrasound!! I looked up a place in Tulsa where Emmanuel and I could have it done at, and their prices seemed pretty fair. We can get up to a 30 minute DVD of the baby in my tum tum!! And 6 black and white pictures, 10 colored pictures, a CD with digital images, and a website made with the pictures on it, all for $175!! That sounds like a lot, but so what! I can be a little greedy when it comes to that!! And the best part is we can bring a lot of people to the ultrasound with us because their rooms are huge with 3 TV screens to view what's going on in my tummy!! I am so excited hehehehe
• Anyways, on a much -lower- note, I am going to TRY to sleep... goodnight and God bless.

To Be Real...

• The closer my baby's due date gets.. the more afraid I get of being a mother. Life can be so rough sometimes, I barely feel like I can make it. I hope that I get the strength that I need to be a mother, a strong role model, and someone my child can really be proud of. I feel so young right now, and there are so many things that still need to be assessed and sorted out before lil one gets here. If it wasn't for God and for Emmanuel helping me, I really don't know what I would do right now.
• I like writing in this blog thing about my pregnancy and soon to be motherhood life because other women can read it and it may comfort them to know that someone is going through a lot just like they are. I am being entirely honest when I say that I am so very afraid of having a baby right now. Nothing is even prepared for him to be here yet, what if it won't be by the time he is here? I really wish that I could get a job right now, but I'll having horrible pains out of no where and I HAVE to sit down and rest for an hour or two... and plus, when I did try to apply for a job I got denied. I bet they could tell I was pregnant, and just came up with a stupid excuse to not hire me... Ugh. I don't even care where I would work, I just really want a honest, decent job. I applied at Walmart and they never even called.. meh.
• I read in my pregnancy books that it isn't really good to work that much while you're pregnant; it isn't super BAD, but you shouldn't be standing on your feet for more than 2 hours without a break or something. And you shouldn't work more than 6 hours in a day. I see pregnant women working all the time, but most of them are just trying to prove something, like "Yeah, I am pregnant AND I'm busting my butt all the time AND going to school AND etc.!!" Please... you are hurting your baby with your butt-busting; slow down a bit. Ugh, I feel so lazy and incompetent after withdrawing from school and getting fired from my job for missing too many days due to my pregnancy. The only thing that is keeping me sane is the fact that all of the stuff I sacrificed is making it a lot safer for my baby to be in my tummy.
• Everyone, especially my mom, keeps asking "What are you going to do after the baby is here? Are you going back to school?" I really have no clue what I am going to be doing, I just really want to make it through my pregnancy; that's all I am truly worrying about, to be honest. I would love to go to back to school ASAP after my son is born, but that seems highly impossible and is also something I DON'T wish to do. I really don't want to take my baby to daycare because I don't trust those people. I would love for my mom to offer to watch him, but she is just NOW coping with the fact that I am pregnant and I am almost 6 months. Blah, I know God will be by my side and help with this big list of questions and this ongoing of confusions.
• I think I am going to apply to McDonalds tomorrow. It's worth a shot.. anywhoodles goodnight and God bless.

The Fatness Is Hither!

• Going from an unhealthy-morning sickness-tired-nauseous-barfing-no energy 99 pounds to a wonderful-healthier-a little more energetic-happy-fatty 111 pounds is quite lovely to me! I am eating SO VERY MUCH every day, and pretty much all day long... BUT I'm not eating bad foods. I don't know why pregnant women think that once they become pregnant it's a time to splurge on whatever foods they like/want.. To be honest, you are NOT supposed to do that at all. Whatever a pregnant woman eats, her baby eats. I don't know why, but it makes me highly upset when I hear stories about women attacking tons of sugary foods and they think that it is okay because they are pregnant and can do whatever they want. You are suppose to eat healthy, drinks 10000 gallons of water a day.. maintain a healthy diet.
• Now, don't get me wrong.. I have my little moments where every now-and-then I have a sweet tooth and I have some dessert or something, but I don't over do it... It makes me feel bad for the baby in the mommy's tummy, seriously.. I don't know if its because my hormones that make me incredibly sad when I think about it, but it makes me want to cry. An innocent baby, our beautiful gifts from God who are helpless, is being bombarded with unhealthy things... meh. Just my opinion, but of course I believe I am right about it.. it's common sense.
• I know that it is hard to control a craving, but if the craving is bad/unhealthy.. I think that it is controlable!!! I have been very fortunate to not really have any cravings other than a little salad and fruit splurge in my late first trimester.
• Ok, enough of me raging on about unhealthy pregnancy foods. I feel so fat lately and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!! I know it sounds rather surprising/psychotic, but I have been unusually skinny my entire life. So, now that I'm gaining weight I'm extremely happy because I feel healthier and I know that my baby is safer because I am healthier. 111 pounds sounds like nothing to everyone, but it's a lot to me AND I am still gaining more weight!
• Anywhoodles.. Goodnight and God bless.

Ah, How Time Flies..

• Wow, I can't believe I am almost in my 3rd trimester... it's a little scary to be honest. Feels like just yesterday when I found out I was pregnant. Okay, thats definately an exaggeration because the pregnancy pains seem as if they have been occuring for so long.
• It is something that makes me heart beat very fast... just thinking about being a 19-year-old mother. Sometimes I feel as if I am not even fully an adult yet, but then again I feel that I am wise -and mature- beyond my years. Motherhood is going to be hard, I have already accepted that. Geesh, I'm still going to be attending college while my own child starts school, most likely. Although thoughts of failure and destruction try to tempt my mind that seems to be weak every now and then, I have plenty of faith in myself and I refuse to give up. I believe that I have come too far in life to just give up... especially when it comes to my own blood, my child.
• My relationship with God has had its ups-and-downs for quite a while now, but I am slowly becoming stable with Him again and I am finding a peace like never before. Worries fill my head, questions about how things will be when the baby is here, and yet I am still smiling and holding my head up high. God has my back and I know that through my actions, my devtion, and my repentance, he will have mercy on me. No matter how bad things have been, or how bad things will be/get, there will always be a way for me to get back up: and that is by grabbing the hand of God when he offers me his hand, and he offers his hand to anyone and everyone at all times.
• God knows that I am thankful for the man that I am with. He helped me find the strength that I had lost so long ago, and he is a huge reason why my relationship with God is growing more and more every day. I will truly be forever grateful for him...
• On another note, I am rather sleepy now and my mind is racing with too many thoughts that don't really need to be written down.. goodnight and God bless.

Insomniac's R Us

• I think I'm tired, but probably not. Being pregnant is wonderful. I am 5 months 3 weeks and 2 days, now. I went from losing a lot of weight--> all the way down to 99 pounds, then to 102, then 105, and now I am a lovely 111 pounds :) Almost all nauseousness is gone, and I eat like there's no tomorrow.. every.. single.. day. It's lovely. I feel my son kicking every time I finally feel like I am going to fall asleep at night.. how unusual. I remember only feeling him squirm around about 2 inches below my belly button, now it seems as if he is taking over my entire stomach and kicking at any time he pleases, that lil rascal! I am enjoying my pregnancy while I can because many of the women that I know, after giving birth, miss being pregnant..
• I find the urge to urinate every 5 minutes, it's wonderful.. especially when I fall into a deep sleep.. and then out of no where I feel like I'm going to wet the bed. I haven't had any cravings what-so-ever.. but once I want to eat something, I MUST have it because everything else will sound gross. The only craving I'd say that I had was for about a week when I attacked fruit and I absolutely LOVED salads covered in Thousand Island dressing. Hm, I have had bad gas my entire pregnancy, but now that I am further along it is getting worse to where I can't even move sometimes.. and I want to scream my head off because I am in so much pain. I don't know what foods to stay away from because my body will react differently to them every day. I get very bad BH (Braxton Hicks) contractions.. [[no worries people, they are normal after a women reaches 20 weeks of pregnancy, they help prepare the body for child birth..]], sometimes my stomach will get extremely tight to where I can't touch it because it's so sore!!
• I am going to be having a lovely baby shower either in the end of March or the beginning of April, and my friend since 3rd grade -Natalie- is going to host/plan it. I am very, very excited. The guest list is reaching almost over 40, so I'm afraid I won't be able to invite just -anyone- who comes up to me and asks, sorry.. Unless you want to pitch Natalie $30 or something ;)
• Anywho, I think I've written enough for tonight. I'm still not very tired, and I could write for hours if I had the drive to.. toodles.

Too Tired...

Hm.. I stole this blog idea from my cousin, but I'm too tired to post a real first blog. I shall return later on after I rest up. Goodnight.

post. script.: I love Emmanuel and my son...