Amazing...

• I really have no way of explaining how I felt when I saw the 3D/4D ultrasound of my son. He is so beautiful... His cheeks are super chubby and his nose is just like his daddy's. Daddy and I have long chins, so our son's chin looks like both of ours. It was incredible seeing him move his arms and open and close his little mouth. He made this lil scrunched up face a couple times and it was simply adorable. I am so attached to him.. man I can tell I am going to be super over-protective of my baby lol.
• I remember laying there and looking at my baby move, and I swear he opened his eyes, "aw he opened his eyes," I said. The lady said "no, they cannot do that in there." So me, being the I-just-have-to-know girl, looks it up online and babies CAN open their eyes in their mothers womb. My beautiful son opened and closed his eyes multiple times.. and we have it saved on DVD =) The ultrasound viewing lasted 30 minutes, but I swear it felt like 5 minutes.. I was just so caught up and happy that the time flew by so quickly. I really wish they made inexpensive ultrasound machines so we could buy them and just look at our baby's at home whenever we please!!
• If any of my -friends- would like to see a picture of his ultrasound, message me on MySpace and I will gladly let you see my beautiful son =) http://www.myspace.com/8Shazia8
• Alrighty, well I just thought I would update.. We find out tomorrow the exact day our baby will be here =) Goodnight & God bless*

Painful!

• When pregnant, a woman experiences contractions all throughout her entire pregnancy. The only time they are able to be felt is around 20 weeks and from there on. These contractions are called Braxton Hicks contractions and they just prepare a womans body for full-fledged labor.
• Today I experienced the worse BH contractions I have had.. I even thought I was going into labor; they were that bad. My lower back was in pain, and everytime I had a contraction it felt like my pelvis was being shifted around or something... I was crying my eyes out. I called the emergency line at my doctors office and the doctor said what I am feeling isn't labor contractions, but if I wanted to go to Labor and Delivery at the hospital, I could go just to make sure I am okay.
• I called Emmanuel and let him know that I am in a lot of pain and he should take me to the hospital. He brought Phil and De Neys, and it took them about 15 minutes to get to my house. Within those 15 minutes, my BH's slowed down and were going away. I felt kinda dumb that they drove so far to take me to the hospital and we didn't end up going, but contractions aren't something that I have power over... They hung out at my house for a while, and after I was completely okay and made sure I didn't need to go, they left.
• On a MUCH higher note.. Tomorrow is our 3D/4D ultrasound =) I am so0o0o0 excited! We get to see my lil man at over 30 weeks, he is going to be so cute!! Although we have only had 2 other ultrasounds, seeing our baby on the computer screen just makes everything better in life for me...
• Alrighty, I was suppose to go to sleep a long time ago =\ Goodnight and God bless*

Live & Learn

• Many events in life occur for a reason. Maybe they occur to make you stronger, to test your abilities, or to give you a story to tell. I have been through many tribulations in my life; some of them are seen as nothing in the eyes of others, but to me they were. This passed year I have been put through some of the biggests tests of my entire life, and I am proud to say that I am overcoming them beautifully. Although I am still trying to cope with some things, I give myself a lot of credit for handling my trials and not giving up. First and foremost I am thankful for God giving us strength to pull through. I am also very thankful for the family members and friends who have helped Emmanuel and I during the rough times of our pregnancy. Throughout all of the bad news that was ever received, Emmanuel and I still kept out heads up and we are standing strong today. Everyone who doubted us has been proven wrong. Yes, the way things that were done were highly out of order and unrighteous, but with prayer and forgiveness we know that everything will be okay.
• I am so excited to meet the little baby that has been tumbling around in my tummy. I am excited to begin my life as a mommy and wife. Although I am only 19 years old, I will take full responsibility as a mother and wife. I understand that it is going to be rough and things will seem impossible sometimes, but with God by my side and with Emmanuels help I will overcome my weaknesses and build my strength.
• Our baby will be here late April or the beginning of May... am I scared? Yes. Am I worried? Yes. Do I still feel like I'm still a kid sometimes? Yes. But I am as ready as I can be, and I look forward to being a mommy & a wife.

Love Of My* Life

• Relationships are very beautiful. I am so thankful for the man that I am with. He makes every day better and I cannot stand being away from him. My pregnancy has been so rough on me, and I have lost hope so many times these passed 6 months, but Emmanuel has always been there to pick me back up and let me know that everything will be okay. I know for a fact that I have been a pain in the butt for a while now, but he always cares for me, holds me, calms me down when I get angry... He knows everything about me. I know it sounds cliche, but I really think that he can read my mind sometimes.. He knows what I am thinking when I am quiet, he knows what I am going to say all the time; he reads me so well. I could go on forever and ever about him. I love him with all of my heart and I am so glad that he is the father of my baby. Although the timing of having a baby was very early, I cannot wait to have a family with this man. I have never met someone my entire life who makes me laugh so much. I laugh at things that I would have never laughed at before. He makes me laugh so hard when I want to be angry at him; it's impossible to be mad at him for more than 5 minutes, I promise...
• Many people in my life have not been truly loyal to me. When I first met Emmanuel, I let him know that my heart, my feelings, and my emotions were closing up, again. I told him that it was rare that I cried in front of people because I didn't want anyone to see me in an emotional state. One night Emmanuel and I were talking about loyalty and I broke down in tears. I didn't know that I had been hurting so bad from people not remaining loyal. He held me and made us promise each other that we would never treat each other the way we have been treated by everyone else, that we will always remain loyal to one another, and that nothing will ever break up our friendship. From that day on, I can honestly say that Emmanuel has been my best friend.
• I am so in love with the man that he has become, and Emmanuel has come a very far way. I am proud to be by his side, and proud to be carrying his child. I can never ask for a better man because everything that I need in a man he is... I want to thank the people in his life that came before me for messing up because he wouldn't be with me right now if you hadn't. Emmanuel is the love of my life.. Thank you God for my man..

What A Pain In My... Ribs!!

• Man.. do I feel super nauseous right now.. maybe it was the soup I ate. Ugh, I really don't know, but I don't like this feeling at all!!
• Two nights ago was the first time I ever felt my son kick my ribs, and WOW it hurt so bad. I was just sitting on my laptop, talking to my cousin on AIM and WAAM! Right in my left, lower rib area. And it didn't stop after just one hit, it kept happening. Now, I am not sure how big he is exactly, but from those hits I would say he is getting pretty big...! I won't forget to mention the fact that I had terrible gas that night too, and I could barely move because of that.. so trying to re-adjust due to the rib attacks was impossible =(
• I really have nothing else to say =) Other than I still feel like I am going to barf.. OH!! I am 25 weeks pregnant today hehehe! Very exciting! I need to call to make an appointment for 3D/4D ultrasounds asap!! Goodnight and God Bless
• I love Emmanuel and my baby boy so very much!!!! Muah*
  

Go to Sleep? Who.. Me?!?

• It is currently 3:27 am and I am wide awake, but I feel so very tired... When I finally get comfortable and feel like I am going to doze off into a heavenly rest, my lil baby boy is sure to let me know that he wants some attention and doesn't approve of me sleeping. So, he slams his legs and fists into my sides to let me know it isn't time for bed yet!! I find it peaceful though, and I can honestly feel his kicks/punches getting a lot stronger than they use to be. It makes me really happy, although I would absolutely love to start falling asleep early so I don't sleep in all day.
• My BH contractions aren't as bad as they were last week; I prayed that they would be weaker because they really started to hurt.. I would get them every day almost all day long. My back seems to hurt a bit more than last month, and my skin burns extremely bad now if I don't put lotion on it. I can see a light layer of dry skin all on my tummy now, most likely from the stretching it is going through. My arms will burn too if I don't put lotion on them; I think that is because I am gaining weight and they are also getting a bit bigger.
• My next visit to my OBGYN, I will be getting tested for gestational diabetes. I was told that I am going to have to drink this glucose solution that tastes horrible, then they can test me. To be honest, I don't want to drink it because it's obviously packed with sugar and I don't want my baby to have to eat that. I don't care if I sound weird worrying about that, I am looking out for my baby!!
• I am looking forward to having the 3D/4D ultrasound!! I looked up a place in Tulsa where Emmanuel and I could have it done at, and their prices seemed pretty fair. We can get up to a 30 minute DVD of the baby in my tum tum!! And 6 black and white pictures, 10 colored pictures, a CD with digital images, and a website made with the pictures on it, all for $175!! That sounds like a lot, but so what! I can be a little greedy when it comes to that!! And the best part is we can bring a lot of people to the ultrasound with us because their rooms are huge with 3 TV screens to view what's going on in my tummy!! I am so excited hehehehe
• Anyways, on a much -lower- note, I am going to TRY to sleep... goodnight and God bless.

To Be Real...

• The closer my baby's due date gets.. the more afraid I get of being a mother. Life can be so rough sometimes, I barely feel like I can make it. I hope that I get the strength that I need to be a mother, a strong role model, and someone my child can really be proud of. I feel so young right now, and there are so many things that still need to be assessed and sorted out before lil one gets here. If it wasn't for God and for Emmanuel helping me, I really don't know what I would do right now.
• I like writing in this blog thing about my pregnancy and soon to be motherhood life because other women can read it and it may comfort them to know that someone is going through a lot just like they are. I am being entirely honest when I say that I am so very afraid of having a baby right now. Nothing is even prepared for him to be here yet, what if it won't be by the time he is here? I really wish that I could get a job right now, but I'll having horrible pains out of no where and I HAVE to sit down and rest for an hour or two... and plus, when I did try to apply for a job I got denied. I bet they could tell I was pregnant, and just came up with a stupid excuse to not hire me... Ugh. I don't even care where I would work, I just really want a honest, decent job. I applied at Walmart and they never even called.. meh.
• I read in my pregnancy books that it isn't really good to work that much while you're pregnant; it isn't super BAD, but you shouldn't be standing on your feet for more than 2 hours without a break or something. And you shouldn't work more than 6 hours in a day. I see pregnant women working all the time, but most of them are just trying to prove something, like "Yeah, I am pregnant AND I'm busting my butt all the time AND going to school AND etc.!!" Please... you are hurting your baby with your butt-busting; slow down a bit. Ugh, I feel so lazy and incompetent after withdrawing from school and getting fired from my job for missing too many days due to my pregnancy. The only thing that is keeping me sane is the fact that all of the stuff I sacrificed is making it a lot safer for my baby to be in my tummy.
• Everyone, especially my mom, keeps asking "What are you going to do after the baby is here? Are you going back to school?" I really have no clue what I am going to be doing, I just really want to make it through my pregnancy; that's all I am truly worrying about, to be honest. I would love to go to back to school ASAP after my son is born, but that seems highly impossible and is also something I DON'T wish to do. I really don't want to take my baby to daycare because I don't trust those people. I would love for my mom to offer to watch him, but she is just NOW coping with the fact that I am pregnant and I am almost 6 months. Blah, I know God will be by my side and help with this big list of questions and this ongoing of confusions.
• I think I am going to apply to McDonalds tomorrow. It's worth a shot.. anywhoodles goodnight and God bless.

The Fatness Is Hither!

• Going from an unhealthy-morning sickness-tired-nauseous-barfing-no energy 99 pounds to a wonderful-healthier-a little more energetic-happy-fatty 111 pounds is quite lovely to me! I am eating SO VERY MUCH every day, and pretty much all day long... BUT I'm not eating bad foods. I don't know why pregnant women think that once they become pregnant it's a time to splurge on whatever foods they like/want.. To be honest, you are NOT supposed to do that at all. Whatever a pregnant woman eats, her baby eats. I don't know why, but it makes me highly upset when I hear stories about women attacking tons of sugary foods and they think that it is okay because they are pregnant and can do whatever they want. You are suppose to eat healthy, drinks 10000 gallons of water a day.. maintain a healthy diet.
• Now, don't get me wrong.. I have my little moments where every now-and-then I have a sweet tooth and I have some dessert or something, but I don't over do it... It makes me feel bad for the baby in the mommy's tummy, seriously.. I don't know if its because my hormones that make me incredibly sad when I think about it, but it makes me want to cry. An innocent baby, our beautiful gifts from God who are helpless, is being bombarded with unhealthy things... meh. Just my opinion, but of course I believe I am right about it.. it's common sense.
• I know that it is hard to control a craving, but if the craving is bad/unhealthy.. I think that it is controlable!!! I have been very fortunate to not really have any cravings other than a little salad and fruit splurge in my late first trimester.
• Ok, enough of me raging on about unhealthy pregnancy foods. I feel so fat lately and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!! I know it sounds rather surprising/psychotic, but I have been unusually skinny my entire life. So, now that I'm gaining weight I'm extremely happy because I feel healthier and I know that my baby is safer because I am healthier. 111 pounds sounds like nothing to everyone, but it's a lot to me AND I am still gaining more weight!
• Anywhoodles.. Goodnight and God bless.

Ah, How Time Flies..

• Wow, I can't believe I am almost in my 3rd trimester... it's a little scary to be honest. Feels like just yesterday when I found out I was pregnant. Okay, thats definately an exaggeration because the pregnancy pains seem as if they have been occuring for so long.
• It is something that makes me heart beat very fast... just thinking about being a 19-year-old mother. Sometimes I feel as if I am not even fully an adult yet, but then again I feel that I am wise -and mature- beyond my years. Motherhood is going to be hard, I have already accepted that. Geesh, I'm still going to be attending college while my own child starts school, most likely. Although thoughts of failure and destruction try to tempt my mind that seems to be weak every now and then, I have plenty of faith in myself and I refuse to give up. I believe that I have come too far in life to just give up... especially when it comes to my own blood, my child.
• My relationship with God has had its ups-and-downs for quite a while now, but I am slowly becoming stable with Him again and I am finding a peace like never before. Worries fill my head, questions about how things will be when the baby is here, and yet I am still smiling and holding my head up high. God has my back and I know that through my actions, my devtion, and my repentance, he will have mercy on me. No matter how bad things have been, or how bad things will be/get, there will always be a way for me to get back up: and that is by grabbing the hand of God when he offers me his hand, and he offers his hand to anyone and everyone at all times.
• God knows that I am thankful for the man that I am with. He helped me find the strength that I had lost so long ago, and he is a huge reason why my relationship with God is growing more and more every day. I will truly be forever grateful for him...
• On another note, I am rather sleepy now and my mind is racing with too many thoughts that don't really need to be written down.. goodnight and God bless.

Insomniac's R Us

• I think I'm tired, but probably not. Being pregnant is wonderful. I am 5 months 3 weeks and 2 days, now. I went from losing a lot of weight--> all the way down to 99 pounds, then to 102, then 105, and now I am a lovely 111 pounds :) Almost all nauseousness is gone, and I eat like there's no tomorrow.. every.. single.. day. It's lovely. I feel my son kicking every time I finally feel like I am going to fall asleep at night.. how unusual. I remember only feeling him squirm around about 2 inches below my belly button, now it seems as if he is taking over my entire stomach and kicking at any time he pleases, that lil rascal! I am enjoying my pregnancy while I can because many of the women that I know, after giving birth, miss being pregnant..
• I find the urge to urinate every 5 minutes, it's wonderful.. especially when I fall into a deep sleep.. and then out of no where I feel like I'm going to wet the bed. I haven't had any cravings what-so-ever.. but once I want to eat something, I MUST have it because everything else will sound gross. The only craving I'd say that I had was for about a week when I attacked fruit and I absolutely LOVED salads covered in Thousand Island dressing. Hm, I have had bad gas my entire pregnancy, but now that I am further along it is getting worse to where I can't even move sometimes.. and I want to scream my head off because I am in so much pain. I don't know what foods to stay away from because my body will react differently to them every day. I get very bad BH (Braxton Hicks) contractions.. [[no worries people, they are normal after a women reaches 20 weeks of pregnancy, they help prepare the body for child birth..]], sometimes my stomach will get extremely tight to where I can't touch it because it's so sore!!
• I am going to be having a lovely baby shower either in the end of March or the beginning of April, and my friend since 3rd grade -Natalie- is going to host/plan it. I am very, very excited. The guest list is reaching almost over 40, so I'm afraid I won't be able to invite just -anyone- who comes up to me and asks, sorry.. Unless you want to pitch Natalie $30 or something ;)
• Anywho, I think I've written enough for tonight. I'm still not very tired, and I could write for hours if I had the drive to.. toodles.

Too Tired...

Hm.. I stole this blog idea from my cousin, but I'm too tired to post a real first blog. I shall return later on after I rest up. Goodnight.

post. script.: I love Emmanuel and my son...